Whew! I can only stay a Moment Fragance Candles

Fragrance candles bring warmth to your home and welcome friends and family, 
but what about those times when you have unwelcome guests?  Everyone has them in their lives.  We all have that special someone who just doesn’t know when it’s time to go home. You drop hints. They’re clueless. They stay, and stay, and stay. You hate to be rude – but what are your options?
  What  do you do when they miss all social cues?

Whether it’s your sorry brother-in-law or your teenage daughter’s obnoxious boyfriend – you can’t afford to start World War III in your family. Now you don’t have to. 
Whew!  has good news for you!
Just politely excuse yourself from the room, light one of our specialty candles, and  you’ll have results in no time.

To be honest, some of the fragrance candles offered by
Whew! I can Only Stay A Moment don’t even need to be lit.

Whether you need a subtle scent like DO I SMELL Peppy? or a stench that would gag a Yeti, we can help!

Our best sellers include:

Lost Easter Egg

Old Sparky (back ordered at this time)

DO I SMELL PEPPY? a mild skunk fragrance

& our most toxic: Skunk Party Under the House

Under Development are New Exciting Fragrances such as:

Cousin June’s House o’ Funk

Who Scared  Fluffy?

 Dead Rodent in the Wall

Next of Ken

Order Now!

Small Votive (DO I SMELL PEPPY? or Lost Easter Egg )		$10.00
Large Sealed: Skunk Party Under the House (Toxic Skunk)		$19.99
Postal  Money Orders Only Please		Email Us Today While Supplies are Fresh

Plus Shipping & Handling (& we really earn this part – trust me!)

Whew! I Can Only Stay a Moment Fragrance Candles

Domestic Tranquility is only a Money Order away!

Coming Soon: Whew!  The Office Version
Great for that guy who camps out at your desk for hours on end
          
Testimonials:

Dear Whew!
Your candles are wretched! We thought we would have to move. Wow!
I love them! We have our lives back now. My mother-in-law has left us alone for the
first time in 13 years of marriage! As soon as my vision clears up & the trembling subsides  - I’ll buy again!
Whew! I Can Only Stay a Moment Candles  not only saved my marriage , but  I’ve lost 11 pounds too. 
                                                                                                                                           
Bless you Whew!
Ellen Waite

 

Why plants only grow on one side of my Pot

Finally saw the reason.  I told him to move. This is as far as he got. 

Poor Amy

Every now and then I get the opportunity to help co-workers celebrate a milestone in their career with the company. I get to photoshop their head into fun photos of interesting situations & we all gather together and bond while laughing at the photos. 

 This month it’s Amy’s turn.  She’s worked here for 15 years.  She seemed  afraid of what I might do after seeing Poor Amanda’s video last month. I don’t know why.  Poor Amy. 

Amy likes to read so  I decided to make her an author in the “Hot Engineering Romance” genre.   As far as I know – this is groundbreaking stuff here.   Shown are a few of the book covers of her bestsellers. She should be proud.  I think these might actually sell.  I think a calendar of these covers would be a hot item too. Note that Marvin Loctite always wears a pocket protector. Always!  Torque Magnetson, the Norse Viking Programmer (first book in the series was “Norse Code”)  doesn’t care what he wears besides his ink.

What’s up with that???? Cattle Smoking???!!!

Does it get any stranger than this? I was looking at the bag of kitty treats this morning & realized that it features a cat riding a cow. The cow is evidently smoking. And smoking about eight cigarettes at the same time.  I guess if you’re a cow, all those anti-smoking PSAs aren’t that effective. Especially if a cat wants to eat you.   But cows smoking is a good marketing ploy if there’s ever been one. Am I right?  So rush on down to the market and pick up a bag of “Smoked Cattle” flavored kitty treats. Yum!

You might be a Redneck if …

“You might be a Redneck if you require a ground wire for your bath tub!”  That’s the message a friend left on my answering machine last Friday.  Since I didn’t answer the phone – it was a good bet that I was in the pool or in the outside tub.   Since a storm was possible – he called to see if I’d been struck by lightening yet.  Aren’t friends grand?  At least it wasn’t another Cealis joke.   Sheeesh!!!!!!!!!!

   Yep! I got an outdoor tub.  And it’s wonderful.  It’s an old cast iron claw foot tub and if you fill it in the morning before work – it’s a perfect temperature by the time you get home in the afternoon.  On weekends, you can alternate between the pool, hammock, or tub. The advantage of the tub is that you can nap without drowning.  Unless you’re really short.

 Of course, you can nap in the hammock without drowning usually too. But there’s always some freak thing that can happen of course.

I think the Weekly World News reported a hammock drowning in 1998 – but it may have involved a Yeti. And Al Gore.  The Whitehouse covered up most of the details for obvious reasons. They get all bi-partisan when a drowning, Yeti, and hammock are involved with a VP.  I totally get it.

 

 
oh, yeah – here’s one of the pool towels I got on the same day as the Gummy D (see earlier post).

  Don’t you just love it?

And what back yard is complete without a pool for the kiddies?  & no – it’s not Peaches fault this time! Since her January baptism – she doesn’t have the slightest desire to get wet.  Also, she thinks the water is too dirty for even her!  

Note that the water was clear only moments earlier.  

I like to think that my backyard is like the Valhermoso Springs Riveria. And who would argue?   So bring $ and you can have the full day spa experience.   You can even get a cat scan if the kitty isn’t too scared to come out.    You can frolick in the Natural Mineral Water pool (featured  above with Benjie - our brilliant aquatic engineer) or in the regular pool.   Ben likes to run his boat in the “Bullion Regatta”.   I think you will too.